


Need a Hug

by SlowTortoise



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, M/M, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20814887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlowTortoise/pseuds/SlowTortoise
Summary: There are moments in our lives when we feel purposeless and alone in the world. In those times we might just want someone to stay by our side.Changkyun, a struggling university student, finds exactly that in an Android called SHOWNU.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it's my first time writing a fanfic and the first time I'm writing in a creative capacity for nearly a decade now. I'm projecting a tiny bit in this but less than I thought I might do. I've also taken some scientific liberties here. Constructive feedback is welcome as well as any comments in general. Hope you like it and enjoy.

Fog clouds Changkyun's vision as he steps into the cafeteria from outside, where frost has glazed over the world. He makes his way to the hot chocolate dispenser, while wiping at his round and wired-framed glasses, with a sleeved hand. Over the conversations around him, the news on a communal TV overhead is barely audible: "...for those like my son that I couldn't help..."

Changkyun slides his disposable cup into a sleeve before paying for it and exiting into the university. He walks down the corridor lethargically, trying to find comfort in the heat of his drink, his eyes downcast. His thoughts on the seminar he had just come from.

It feels as if he always leaves one feeling like he had made a fool of himself. One wrong answer spoken aloud trapping him in his spiral of self-deprecation; leaving him in trepidation for the next session. Changkyun knows his reaction is probably out of proportion to the issue, but he can never stop himself from spiralling. A sigh escapes his lips as he goes in search of his little happiness.

There are 2 things which helps dissipate the feelings of self-loathing: time and puppies. Which is why Changkyun finds himself with a bundle of fluff in his arms, licking at his prominent nose. He giggles at the little Bichon Frise despite receiving the same treatment every week.

There are other students around too, playing with the puppies and greeting the dog owners. However Changkyun ignores them and focuses instead on the light feeling, blooming inside him as the puppy squishes a paw against his cheeks.

“Kyunnie!” a voice calls from behind him. Changkyun turns to see his red-headed friend waving at him whilst walking towards him.

“Sup Honey” he replies as he mirrors Jooheon’s dimpled grin, eyes crinkling from the mood boost gifted to him from the little pup. Jooheon lifts a hand to gently pat the pup before moving to ruffle Changkyun’s wavy caramel hair, earning a disapproving whine from the younger.

“Come on, as much as I adore Dambi too, we’re going to be late for afternoon lectures,” Jooheon urges as Changkyun frees an arm to raise his watch to his face.

“Shit, I still need to buy my sweet batteries if I want to survive the next four hours!” he quickly but gently places Dambi back onto the floor. “See you next week Dambi,” he whispers as Dambi runs back to his owner Minhyuk, who smiles brightly at the pair before they both wave and run off.

:):

"...Give me names of types of hernias," the tutor instructs as she moves along the group one at a time. Answers are given and by the time it is Changkyun's turn his brain freezes and he can't think of any others.

"I… don't know," his voice almost a whisper as he looks away from his groups' stares. There is a slight pause before the tutor moves on to the next person, enough for Changkyun to feel the disappointment and judgement around him. Once again he sees himself looking down a dark hole; slipping down his spiral of self-torment. His concentration is trapped there and is relieved when no more questions are asked.

The sound of trainers hitting the floor reverberates in the corridor around him, as he dodges students and makes his way to the puppy-therapy room. It hasn't been a full week since the last session, so he knows they won't be there. But he can't stop the ache in his heart knowing how useless and worthless he is.

So he reaches for the space, where he usually finds his little happiness, for a place to break down alone. Around the corner, the door to the room comes into view, it is open but the lights are off. Changkyun grabs at the door frame and swings himself swiftly into the room.

A few steps into the room he looks up towards the window and pauses mid step. The late autumn sun filters into the room, silhouetting a large imposing figure.

Changkyun's heart stutters in shock and he turns around to leave, wishing to be left alone. He takes two hurried steps back towards the door before he feels a weight settle around him. His instincts kick in and he quickly pushes his uppe arms against the weight to escape. But the weight doesn't budge and in his struggle, Changkyun realises that there is a pair of arms wrapped around him.

Confusion overtakes his mind. He remembers there is only that imposing figure in the room but why would a stranger hug him? As his thoughts wonder, the stranger manages to turn him around so that Changkyun's front is pressed up against the strangers chest. Realising their new position, Changkyun knows he should be trying to escape the stranger's embrace, but he remains transfixed with his face buried in the nook of the other's neck.

Perhaps he has been deprived of physical affection for too long that he begins to enjoy the feeling of arms around him. It wasn't like Jooheon, his closest friend, never showed him any physical affection. But they were usually quick half-hugs; a habit formed in their greetings and good-byes to each other. They didn't hold the feeling of being cocooned in the warm rays of summer's dawn. It didn't feel like right now.

The broad chest and arms holding him are soft yet firm enough to make Changkyun feel safe. Safe enough to fall apart. Tears fall uncontrollably down his cheeks, some coating his quivering lips, so that he can taste the saltiness. Heavy sobs wrack through his body as his hands come up to fist the fabric at the stranger's back.

Eventually the sobs die down into soft sniffles as Changkyun tires. He feels lighter; the constriction around his heart gone. At the same time the arms around him loosen enough so Changkyun can pull a foot away. Instantly he misses the warmth that leaves him, but he pulls his arms back towards himself, reaching up to his face to wipe away the tears. As he does so he glances up at the clothed chest in front of him.

Through the haze of his exhaustion he can see tear stains and writing across the other's left breast: 'SHOWNU Ver 0.5'. Dismissing it as another brand he angles his face to finally look at the person’s face. He only has time to note high cheekbones and an expressionless face, peering back down at him, before his mind jolts back into full clarity. Heat blossoms across his cheeks as he realises he just cried his heart out in front of a complete stranger, in his arms no less.

“I… I, I’m so sorry!” Changkyun exclaims before pivoting on the heels of his feet and rushing out of the room.

:):

Bowls clatter against a cafeteria table as Jooheon and Changkyun seat themselves for lunch.

"Treat yourself Fridays really became an everyday thing." Jooheon groans while shovelling a spoon of custard covered apple crumble into his mouth.

“That’s because we deserve to treat ourselves everyday” Changkyun replies as his taste buds become infused with the perfect mix of sweet and sour. He relaxes further into his chair, exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions he had just experienced in the morning. “Besides it’s been a long day.”

Jooheon looks over quizzically at Changkyun. “Long day? We’ve got the whole afternoon off.”

Changkyun internally winces at his slip; he didn’t want to tell Jooheon about what had happened just yet. “Yeah... we had the double session back to back this morning when we usually only have one remember?”

“Hmmm, true and we still need to prep for tomorrow’s lessons.”

“Don’t remind me, I still have another half to finish.”

“But before that, we’ve got time to go karaoke!” Jooheon exclaims as he moves on to his dumplings. “We could both do with the emotional release.”

Changkyun realises then that he was caught but is thankful that Jooheon doesn’t push him to explain himself. “Alright, but the loser pays,” Changkyun grins as he rips the lid off of his soup container.

:):

After an hour of non-stop belting, both Jooheon and Changkyun collapse onto the sofas, gulping down their drinks. They are both smiling, their breathing slowly evening out.

Changkyun catches himself wondering if this happiness will last forever and if they’ll even still be friends in the years to come. He hugs a pillow around his middle as his mood dips from his own pessimistic conclusions. Why is it so easy to fall from his happy states but so hard to climb out of his dark pits? Changkyun squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to block out his thoughts, opening them to find Jooheon staring at him.

“You okay there man?”

“Yeah… just thinking about the future. Isn’t it the perpetual state of our generation to see the grey in it all?” Changkyun throws Jooheon a wry smile.

"And yet we're still here. Somewhere deep down inside we still have hope that something will get better." Jooheon returns the smile, equally wry as he shuffles over to Changkyun and lays his head on his shoulder. "Billions of adults have made it through before us so I'm sure we've got a fighting chance of being okay."

"I hope so Honey," Changkyun whispers as he lightly squeezes Jooheon's upper arm.

They both lie there with their eyes closed, listening to each others breathing, lost in their own thoughts. Eventually someone comes to tell them their time is up and Jooheon goes to pay the loser's forfeit.

:):

Closing the door behind him, Changkyun slides his bag down his arm, onto the floor in an unceremonious lump. He walks the short distance to his bed and flips onto it, landing with a bounce onto his back.

The dark allows the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling to shine as he stares up at them. Rolling onto his belly, he moves to the edge of his bed, his torso hovering over the side as he places his hands on the floor. He raises one to unzip his bag and reaches for the laptop inside, pulling it out back onto the bed. Flipping the lid open, he places it beside his head and hits the play button on iTunes. The slow but heavy beats vibrate through his body as soft voices sing out a melancholic melody.

Changkyun releases a sigh he's been holding in as he allows himself to sink into the sadness the sounds create. He removes his glasses and folds them inwards, placing them by his laptop. Lying back down supine, he lets himself just feel the emptiness that settles in his bones, letting the music and time siphon them back out.

His mind wanders and plays out the day in head. The long ruthless morning sessions and running into that mysterious figure. His eyes snap open as he remembers the embarrassment of being caught so vulnerable by the stranger.

He sits up abruptly and shuffles off of his bed and goes to turn on his desk lamp. He turns back to grab his laptop, placing it instead on top of his desk, then reaches back to replace his glasses onto his face. He pulls out the fold-out chair tucked under the desk and plops down. Trying to rid himself of his previous thoughts, he switches to some lofi-beats and starts furiously finishing up his prep notes for tomorrow’s session.

The room in which Changkyun has rented out for his third year of university, is situated on the ground floor, in one of the buildings that sits on the outskirts of the university halls. Photos and memorabilia line his walls and shelves in hoards; a reflection of their owner’s unyielding grip on the past. The two by two meter window above the side of the bed, is slightly open, letting in a cold draft and the sound of softly rustling bushes just outside.

Changkyun has his back towards the window; his work nearing completion. A squeak that could only have come from his bed suddenly sounds, followed by a soft thud of something landing on his carpeted floor. He startles, toppling his chair over as he turns towards the sound while picking up his lamp to use as a weapon. The light moves with him as it illuminates a familiar figure rolled up on the floor unmoving.

“What the hell is going on?” Changkyun yells as adrenaline pulses through his entire body. He glances at his window now completely ajar and back at the figure, his eyes narrowing. The figure shifts onto its hands and knees. Then lifts a leg to place a foot down before standing and turning to face Changkyun.

"You," Changkyun's eyes widen as he recognises the man that had held him as he had fallen apart. The man walks towards, his arms coming up as if to embrace him again. "Wait, what, stop!" Changkyun sputters as he shoves his free hand in front of him to push the other man away. "You can't just break into someone's room and man handle them," he says in exasperation, his brows dipping into a frown. "Who are you anyway?"

"My name is Shownu."

"That's it? You're not going to explain what you're doing here?" Changkyun ignores how velvety the other's voice sounds, higher than his own, but filling him with warmth. He needs some answers to this crazed day.

"You smell like you're still sad so I came to comfort you."

"I smell like I'm what now?" Changkyun is incredulous as he raises a brow. It doesn't seem like he'll be getting anything but questions today.

"Sadness,"

"I heard you the first time. I meant, how does one smell sad?"

"Humans give off certain pheromones when they're sad, which I can then detect"

"Even if that were true, you expect me to believe that people can smell and recognise sad pheromones for what it is?" Changkyun asks, his fingers coming up in air quotes.

"I'm not people though, I'm a robot."


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun wraps his head around Shownu as Shownu wraps his arms around Changkyun...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken a long time to get out. I've had this written for a while but haven't gotten round to edit it till now. I'm not totally satisfied with this but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!

“...I’m a robot,” 

Changkyun freezes as his mind tries to process what Shownu has just told him. “Wha… Is this some kind of a …” Past encounters with the other flashes in his mind’s eye: ‘SHOWNU Ver 0.5’ written on the other’s shirt; how even through his velvety tone of voice there’s still a monotonous quality to it; his expression that hasn’t ever changed and how he just said ‘detect’ instead of smell. 

“Prove it” Changkyun demands as he folds his arms in front of his chest. 

Shownu remains motionless for half a breath before toeing off his right shoe and pulling off the sock by the toes. He then lifts his right leg straight up, knees slightly bent but so his soles are visible. Changkyun leans in closer until his face is a meter away from the other's foot. At the bottom of his heel he spots a cylindrical hole with metallic grooves and pins. Changkyun's arms fall slack to his sides and his eyes widen, jaw hanging slack.

"It's my charging port, I've got another one on my left heel too," shownu explains as he lowers his leg back down. “Do you want to see that one too?”

“No, no i’m good” Changkyun says as he falls onto his bed and places the lamp onto the floor beside him. His elbows then going to his thighs as he brings his forehead to rest on his fingertips. _ I knew we were making advances in AI but are we really this good now? _The evidence is quite literally staring at his face as Changkyun sits in silence, his thoughts loud. 

A couple of minutes pass before Changkyun looks up, steepling his fingers. "Okay so you're a robot… and you somehow managed to sniff me out here all the way from uni?" Changkyun asks sceptically. 

"No, I've been following you from when we met, but I didn't have access into the building housing the cafeteria, and the man at the karaoke place wouldn't let me in without money," 

Changkyun pinches the bridge of his nose. "You know you can't just stalk people around like this," 

"I have to, to complete my mission objective"

"Your mission objective?" 

"Yes," 

"Please elaborate," Changkyun's voice is strained, as he looks back into Shownu's eyes. _ He looks completely human… so much for eyes being the window of souls. _

“I was made to fix you so you don’t have to be sad anymore,” 

Changkyun frowns as he takes in what Shownu just said. How can such naivety have been said, by a robot towering almost 6 feet and made by the very creatures that are the root of so much said sadness? “It doesn’t work like that, you can’t fix people just because they’re sad. If it were that easy, no one would be sad,” 

Shownu paused as he considered what Changkyun had said. “I have to try,” 

Changkyun thinks he hears a hint of desperation colouring his usually monotonous voice. He wonders if it is desperation from being told, that his life’s mission is impossible, or if it’s because the other truly cares for him. 

A sigh leaves his mouth. "Alright look, we can talk more about this tomorrow but right now I need to sleep so can you please go home," Changkyun stands and starts walking past Shownu, towards the door, so he can show him the proper way out. 

"I don't have a home and I can't leave you," Shownu interrupts him halfway to the door. 

Changkyun turns around and finds himself only an arms length away from Shownu. “What about your makers? Go back to-” 

“Please” Shownu pleads softly, his eyes holding Changkyun’s. 

Changkyun searches the other's face and notices the faint crease in his forehead. He wonders at how strong his programming must be to compel him to stay by his side. Returning his gaze to Shownu's eyes, he's not sure what but there's something there that makes him say: "Okay, you can stay." 

He moves to his wardrobe where he takes out a change of clothes and some bedding. Arms filled to his chin, he turns back around and lays them out on the ground while Shownu moves out of his way. "I've only got these oversized clothes of mine to wear and you'll have to sleep on the floor … wait, do you even need to sleep?" He pauses, his arm mid air, meaning to grab for a spare pillow from his bed. 

"I can lie down and enter stand-by mode if that makes you more comfortable?" 

Changkyun nods. "Yes, if you wouldn't mind," taking the pillow and laying it at the head of the makeshift bed. _ Would be weird having someone watch you as you sleep. _

:):

A quarter of an hour has passed after Changkyun had turned off the lights and settled under his duvet. He has changed into a flannel pajama set after washing up and having returned his chair and lamp to their rightful positions. Shownu had tucked himself into his sheets with his eyes now closed. Lying there he looks no different from a human, save for the fact that in his stand-by mode, his chest doesn't expand and deflate as it would to produce speech. 

Changkyun stares up at his ceiling, at the little stars, now undefined blobs of light without his glasses. The dark always brings about his more pessimistic moods, and with no noise around him, he can believe that he's all alone in the dark. 

His thoughts turn back to his worries about his incompetencies at uni, thus turning into worries about the future. He wonders as he often does, if all this hurt and worry is worth the future, when he has no dreams to reach for. As despair settles back into his bones, he turns on his side toward the window, away from Shownu. Silently he lets himself weep for a future he's already doomed to failure.

Stuck in his own world, Changkyun doesn’t notice when the duvet is lifted up behind him, and the mattress dips from Shownu’s weight. He settles down behind Changkyun and only then does he realise the heat at his back, the arm wrapping around his own arms and chest. Surprise startles his eyes into halting their tears.

“I thought you were on stand-by mode,” he manages to say through his sniffles. 

“I can always sense your pheromones except when I’m powered off,” Shownu replies as he fits his entire front, including his legs, closer to the other. 

Changkyun lets out a strangled sound at the intimacy and attempts to shuffle forward away from Shownu. He doesn’t get very far before the other has an arm wrapped around him and pulls him back. 

“It’s okay Changkyun, I’ll be right beside you always,” Shownu whispers as he tucks Changkyun’s head underneath his chin. 

Changkyun stills, and lets himself relax into the warmth of Shownu’s cocoon. Because even though his words don’t fix anything or provide any answers to his questions, they present a constant in his variable future. As he falls asleep, at least for tonight, he chooses to believe in Shownu’s ‘always’. 

  
:):

A soft jingle plays out of a phone by Changkyun's head, as the rain outside plays accompaniment. He wakes to a fort of warmth and steady breaths against the back of his head. As clarity returns to him, he reaches to turn off the alarm and slowly moves out of Shownu's embrace, rolling around to face him. "Did you sleep well?" Changkyun asks as he pulls the blanket down between them, disconnecting the shared space beneath. 

Shownu's eyes slowly open, but without a trace of sleep veiling them. "If you mean returning to stand-by mode then no." He stares back into Changkyun's deep brown eyes. "I thought it'd be more calming for you to fall asleep against something breathing," his voice clear, a contrast to Changkyun's morning gravel.

Changkyun pauses for a second before pulling up the blanket to cover his head. "Yes, well thank you," he voice muffled and slightly strained as he stretches on his back, his arms coming up outside of the blanket, and his toes peeking out into the cold.

Relaxing from the stretch, he brings his arms back to his sides, the blanket folding away from his face and shoulders at the same time. They lay there for a few minutes, Shownu gazing at Changkyun, and Changkyun looking up at his dulled stars. He feels a sliver of happiness run through him at being taken care of but he quickly shuts it down. _ It's probably just his programming telling him to do this! _

"We should get cleaned up," Changkyun says as he abruptly sits up. He throws the blanket off of him and opens up his wardrobe for a change of clothes. After which he grabs his glasses from the desk and heads into the bathroom. 

After a quarter of an hour, Changkyun re-emerges to find Shownu having changed back into his previous clothes. His bed has been neatly arranged and the makeshift bed on the floor is rolled away next to the wardrobe. 

"Ahh you didn't have to but thank you," Changkyun says as he moves to stand in front of Shownu.

"You're welcome, I was just waiting for you anyway." 

They both stand there, Shownu staring at Changkyun as the other's gaze flit around the room, searching for words to say or a course of action to undertake.

"Ahh right, I've got a spare toothbrush, let me go find it." 

"No need to for now, I've yet to eat and my mouth doesn't carry the same natural bacteria and secretions as you, so it's still fairly sterile." 

"Right…" Changkyun replies as he realises he'd forgotten the other was a robot. His actions from the night before being too warm for a programmed machine. "Wait, what do you mean 'yet to eat'?" 

"I was only first activated a few days ago." 

"Okay… but you can eat?" 

"Yes but I don't need to." 

"Do you want me to-" A sharp knock interrupts Changkyun. Both pairs of eyes turned towards the door. Shownu simply responding to the sound stimulus while Changkyun's heart started pounding. The uni accommodation doesn't allow guests to stay over without notice, and Shownu's appearance was definitely not planned. "Quick, hide in the bathroom" Changkyun whispers as he pushes Shownu inside and closes the door behind him. Another knock comes as Changkyun walks towards the door. 

"Kyunnie, there's a man here to see you!" A voice called. Changkyun frowned as he opened the door, coming face to face with a lanky, pink haired man.

"Morning Wonnie, what do you mean there's a man here for me?" Changkyun asks before he notices a short middle aged man behind his hall-mate. His black hair is slicked back, with a pair of silver-rimmed circular spectacles riding low on his sharp nose.

Hyungwon gestures vaguely towards the stranger. “He says he’s your uncle? But you’ve never mentioned one so I wanted to check with you.” The man raises his phone up behind Hyungwon so only Changkyun can see the text: ‘I know SHOWNU’. 

Changkyun’s eyes widen slightly as he steps aside. “Uncle!” Changkyun flashes a fake grin. “I thought you weren’t coming for another week.” The stranger walks through the space Changkyun just left and into his room; Hyungwon having stood aside as he took in Changkyun’s recognition of the man. “Thank you Hyungwon, he’s not a stranger."

“No worries man, I’ll see you later.” Hyungwon replies as he turns to leave. “There’s still some pastries in the Kitchen for breakfast if you want!” He raises his voice to be heard as he walks away. 

Changkyun closes the door behind him as he turns to face the stranger. The stranger is wearing a classic Burberry-checked shirt, tucked into a belted pair of black suit pants. Making Changkyun feel a bit underdressed and intimidated in his white graphic tee and blue ripped skinny jeans. Despite his discomfort, and his heart speeding up due to the stranger's presence, he refuses to be intimidated in his own room. 

“I’m Im Changkyun.” He keeps his arms down at his side, hoping that the phasing out of hand-shakes has reached his generation. 

“Yoo Kihyun.” Kihyun replies as he uses an index finger to push his glasses up. “I’m here for Shownu, the tracker says that he’s here.” The bathroom door pushes open revealing the android in question. He was drawn out by the light smell of distress coming from Changkyun and from the mention of his name. 

"There you are," Kihyun says as he grabs Shownu's arm and starts pulling him towards the door. "We need to get you back where you belong." 

"No I belong here, I need to be by Changkyun's side to fulfill my purpose," Shownu stands his ground as Kihyun continues pulling at him fruitlessly. 

Changkyun frowns at Shownu's words, at the confirmation that his programming is pushing his motivations and not sincerity. "Shownu you should go." 

"No, even now you still need me," Shownu's eyes shift to Changkyun's.

Changkyun shuts up at that, because even though he doesn't know if he really needs Shownu, he knows how safe he makes him feel. He knows that for a moment, he makes him feel a little less alone. 

Kihyun has stopped pulling at Shownu at this point. Instead, he stands up straight and folds his arms. "Don't make me turn you off and wheel you out of here!" 

"You wouldn't do that." Shownu replies as his eyes flicker back to Kihyun. 

Kihyun just scowls because he knows Shownu is correct. For all his threats, he is the engineer who designed him, and he has come to see the other as a human. A person. Despite being the one who knows best that his insides are metal and wiring, he also knows best just how similar Shownu's programming is to them. After all, is there really much difference between the DNA codes of a human, and the digital codes of a robot? 

"How about a deal then?" Kihyun turns so he can address both parties in the room. He looks over towards Shownu first. "Shownu, you can stay here for a month and do what you have to," Kihyun then turns his head and gaze towards Changkyun. "And I'll have to ask you to cooperate. Think of it as a job, we can pay you for your time and for the expenses needed for Shownu to stay." Shownu nods once in agreement leaving Kihyun to await for Changkyun's answer.

"Errr…" Changkyun is left speechless at the turn of events but slowly thinks over the other's offer. _ I do need a job... _The prospect of the android staying, both scares and relieves him but in the end the relief wins out and he agrees. "Okay, I'll take care of him for a month." 

"Great, I'll have Shownu's charging stand sent here along with a company credit card you can use." He gives a nod of his head and turns to head for the door. "Oh and one more thing," he turns his head back round slightly. "I'm going to have to tell my colleagues that I left Shownu here for his own growth and our data collection. Both of which will be better if you integrate Shownu into human society properly. That means you can't tell anyone that he's an Android." With that said he turns back around again and sees his own way out. 

Kihyun doesn't really believe that Shownu can complete what he needs to do in the time allotted, because he knows humans can't be fixed the way Shownu wants them to be able to. People's emotions and minds are too complex and intangible for a quick fix. So he leaves thinking of the extra back up he'll have to bring to get Shownu back in a months time. 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holiday season is coming up, so hopefully I can write a bit more now, though i am currently struggling with some of my ideas right now.  
As always thanks for reading and enjoy!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
Brief mention of suicide, non-explicitly.

“...take a 15 minute break before we start the next lecture,” the professor says as a number of students start making their way down the steps to ask her their questions. Changkyun and Jooheon are sat at the back of the lecture theatre; the safe zone for when their minds need a break. 

Changkyun closes the lid on his laptop and stretches out his limbs within his confined space, while Jooheon leans down into his bag to grab a snack instead. 

"Did you hear Spurs lost their match 7-2?" Jooheon asks as he attacks his carrot; his face in a frown. 

"Yup" Changkyun replied with a pop of the P and his limbs relaxing. "Did make the morning news and all." 

"Eurgh, I don't even know who to blame at this point," Jooheon hangs his head as he slows to a nibble on the carrots. "Well on the bright side, I guess this'll mean less matches to procrastinate with." 

Changkyun lets out a chuckle at his friends remark. "You and your silver linings." 

They both sit there for a while, just enjoying each other's company and listening to the chatter that fills the room around them. Changkyun observes the students moving around the room and wonders about the struggles each of them face everyday. Not because he wants them to be in pain, but because it's an inevitability that everyone hides a hurt behind their everyday faces. 

His thoughts eventually wonder to his own hurt and thus back to the Android waiting back in his room for him. "Say Honey," 

"Hmmm?" 

"Do you know of something that's happening in the puppy therapies room that's not the puppies?" 

"Mmm, why do you ask?" Jooheon's eyes glance towards Changkyun. 

"Just thought I saw a bit of a commotion happening in there one time," Changkyun replied with a shrug of his shoulders. 

"Well ... I think Min was telling me about some robot therapy thing going on," Jooheon says as he moves on to his bunny apple slices. "Something about some tycoon building them to help people. His son took his own life a while back see" 

Changkyun does vaguely remember something similar sounding being on the news once. "What's the connection?" 

"He made a speech a while back, saying he was too busy with work to see his son's struggles. I suppose he regrets not being by his side until it was too late." 

"And this is how he's trying to assuage his regret?" 

"Looks like it, though I doubt most people would prefer a robot over their actual loved one." 

"You never know, there could be some benefits," Changkyun thinks back to how relieved he felt with Shownu, that there was someone by his side at all. "I mean in our darkness we tend to push people away, even if we don't really want to, and they'll get tired of us eventually. But an Android never would." 

"Hmmm, you make a compelling argument," Jooheon squeezes Changkyun's forearm and leans his head on his shoulders. "Though I'd like to think humans could still do the same, even if it might take us a little longer."

_ Not everyone has the time to wait longer though Honey. _

The chatter around them dims as the lecturer begins the next lecture, and both boys ready themselves for another hour. 

:):

The sun is setting by the time Changkyun gets back to his hall. He walks past the shared kitchen where Hoseok, his other hallmate, is cooking his dinner. 

"That smells great Hoseok!" 

"Thanks!" Hoseok shouts back without turning around. "Ah, a package came for you!" 

As Changkyun rounds the corner to his room, he spots a metal crate just in front of his door. The sides are obsidian black with the edges lined in silver. There's no writing or address on it, but he assumes that this is the package Kihyun had promised him this morning. 

Changkyun keys open his door and pushes it into his room, before bending down to pick up the box. He strains against the box but it doesn't lift, so he tries one more time before giving up. Instead he places his bag onto the side and angles his whole body, so he can push the box into his room using his full body weight. With that done, Changkyun pauses and leans his upper body against his knees using his arms, trying to slow his breathing. _ Really need...to join...the gym. _He then walks back to grab his backpack from outside before returning and closes the door behind him. 

The rays from the setting sun, has found its way through Changkyun's window by the time he turns to face the figure he had been ignoring. He raises an arm to cover his eyes from the blinding light but can still make out Shownu's outline in between his fingers. 

"Heya," Changkyun says tentatively but is met with silence. "Hello?" He tries again and moves into Shownu's shadow to block out the light. He notices then that the other's eyes are closed while still standing completely upright. Something flashes in the corner of his eyes, and he looks down to see a red light flashing subtly against Shownu's left thigh. "Excuse me," Changkyun says as he reaches down and grabs Shownu's left wrist, turning it around and bringing it up to his face. A low battery symbol pulses under the translucent skin of the other's wrist, where his wires run; coloured in blues and greens to mimic veins. 

The symbol stops flashing and disappears entirely. _ Ah, he's probably completely out of juice now. _Changkyun places Shownu's arm back down and goes to place his bag down by his desk. He returns to the metal box and kneels down in front of it. There's a silver clasp on the top edge facing him which he unclasps. A whirring sound is heard from the box as all the sides fall to the floor, though still connected together by the base piece, only to have them retracted so they stack on top of each other below the contents. 

_ Woah. _Changkyun is currently frozen on his backside having fallen backwards from shock and awe. He feels like he just saw something out of a spy movie and wonders for a second why this impresses him more than the android standing before him. 

Changkyun grins at the absurdity of it all before kneeling back up and dusting off his backside. He picks up a plastic folder on the top and leaves it on the side, to reveal a cuboidal charging dock underneath. Its colouring identical to the box it was in with an indented pocket on one side housing the plug and cable. Chankyun takes it out and plugs it into the socket by his bed. Turning back to the charging dock, Changkyun sees the silver markings on it start to glow blue underneath; the soft glow seeping out from the sides. 

Looking from above, there's an elliptical wells carved into the cuboid, with two blue-glowing prongs sticking up from the base inside. Two prongs that Changkyun notes would fit into the slots beneath Shownu's soles. 

Changkyun frowns as he looks back up at Shownu and realises he'll have to carry the android into the dock. He goes to stand in front of Shownu, with his face a picture of concentration, as he tries to puzzle out how to move him. "You hug me whenever so this should be fine," Changkyun mutters as he bends down and wraps his arms around the other's hips; his left hand clasping onto his right wrist. He takes a deep breath; mentally preparing himself before lifting Shownu off the ground. Luckily, Shownu turns out to weigh what his build suggests, rather than the heavy metals Changkyun expected. 

So though still heavy, he manages to slot him into the charging port. The battery symbol on Shownu's wrist lights up again, but this time in a neon blue colour, with the segments filling up in a cycle. 

Shownu remains in his comatose state, so Changkyun picks up the plastic folder on the side and goes to read it at his desk while he waits. 

:):

The folder ended up containing an instruction manual; a credit card and a contract. Changkyun was just signing the contract when he heard Shownu's voice.

"Hello Changkyun," 

"Heya," Changkyun replies as he turns in his seat. Shownu is still standing in the port facing the door, but has his face turned towards Changkyun. "How are you… feeling?" He was unsure if the other actually felt any effect from being on low power or completely off. 

“I feel like I'm back to normal now, I was feeling… slow” Shownu replies, as if he himself doesn’t yet know his own feelings, his eyebrows frowning the tiniest amount. Changkyun might have missed it if not for the fact that Shownu’s usual blank expression served to exaggerate any movement. 

“You were probably feeling tired then,” Changkyun finds it interesting that Shownu was designed mimicking human weaknesses. _ I suppose that was done to make him more approachable. _

“Tired...I suppose I was,” Shownu says, appearing lost in his own thoughts, as if his circuit was overheating, before he finally snaps out of it. “How were you today while I was off?” Shownu asks as his objectives come back to the forefront of his mind and his face returns to its usual passiveness.

_ Might need to work on his ability to emote though. _“I was alright today, neutral,” Changkyun replies. “Thank you for asking,” He wasn’t so sure if there was actual empathy in the other’s question; still it felt good and it left him feeling a little warmer. 

“Do you want to try eating today?” Changkyun asks as he gets up from his chair. 

“Yes please,” Shownu replies before glancing down at his feet. “Ahh I’ll have to stay here for a while longer though.”

“No worries, I’ll just go cook us something while you charge up,” Changkyun says as he leaves for the Kitchen. 

Changkyun hasn’t told his hall-mates that he’s got someone over for the month yet, so he ends up with their meals in one extra large bowel. 

“Woah you got enough there to feed the entire uni,” Hoseok jokes as he slurps up the last of his homemade ramen. 

“I’ve decided I need to invest more in my meals to help my growth spurt,” Changkyun opens the fridge and glances at all the drinks before selecting the orange juice; pouring it out into a big mug. 

“Changkyun … I guess it’s good to dream,” Hoseok laughs and picks up his bowel to wash in the sink. Changkyun turns to face Hoseok and pokes his lips out in a pout, which only serves to make Hoseok laugh harder. Changkyun huffs out a breath in response and carries his meal back to his room. 

Closing the door to his room with his foot, Changkyun turns around to see Shownu carrying the charging dock to rest against the wall by his desk. _ Damn, he really isn't human. _ He can’t help but glance down at his own slight arms carrying the bowl and mug in slight embarrassment. Shaking his head to stop himself from comparing himself further, he places the meal down on the desk and perches on the edge of his bed, bringing his knees up to hide his arms between his thighs and torso. 

“Come sit down and try some Shownu,” 

“You should have some first,” 

“Don’t worry, just leave me some. It’s your first time eating so go ahead!” 

Shownu is about to get Changkyun to eat first again when he sees Changkyun’s dimpled smile. A sign that his objectives are being met. So he decides to go with Changkyun’s wishes and takes a seat at the desk. He thought he smelt a flash of negativity coming from Changkyun, but it must’ve been too low a concentration of pheromones, to fully saturate his sensors enough to properly pick it up. 

“Are you okay right now?” Shownu asks as he gingerly uses the pair of chopsticks to pick up a piece of chicken. His artificial hand muscles getting used to the movements behind the theory already programmed into him. 

“I’m okay…” Changkyun replies. He shouldn’t have been surprised, that the other would’ve picked up on his acute low mood, but he quickly threw out another smile towards Shownu. However Shownu finally realises that there was something not quite right about the other’s smile. There is something missing in Chankyun’s eyes that Shownu can't quite place. But it isn't something he's been programmed to understand so he just stares at Changkyun, as if an answer will appear in his eyes. 

"Come on," Changkyun whines as he stretches out and flips back onto the bed. "I've laboured far too long over that for you to eat is cold." 

That snaps Shownu out of his thoughts and he goes to eat the piece held aloft in between his chopsticks. He stores away the puzzle of Changkyun's eyes, as the sensors in his tongue and nose, come alive in bursts of flavour. 

Changkyun props himself up on his elbows as he watches Shownu, well aware that he had run away from Shownu's gaze. It had felt like the other had looked into every insecurity stored in his soul; insecurities that he doesn't want scrutinized. 

"Do you like it?" Changkyun asks the back of Shownu's head where he can see the side of his cheek puffing out as he munches. 

"Like… to find something pleasant, attractive or of a good enough standard." 

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, "that sounds like something you plucked out of the dictionary."

"That's because it was," Shownu replies as a silence between them follows. "I…don't know what liking something is … how do I know?" 

Changkyun pouts as his eyes furrow in thought and his gaze unconsciously flickers to his stars. "Perhaps if you wouldn't mind experiencing it again?" 

Shownu thought back to the burst of flavour he had just felt and thought he wouldn't mind seeing Changkyun pout again. His eyebrow snaps into a frown as he wonders where that thought came from. "Then yes… I think I do like it," Shownu replies as he stores away another ponder. 

Changkyun misses Shownu's expression as he feels himself buoyed with a sense of achievement. Instead he smiles a small but real smile and starts swinging his legs where they dangle over the bedside. 

Shownu sees the brightening in the other's demeanor and so digs into the rest of the meal. When he's halfway done, he relinquishes his seat and meal to Changkyun, and he settles into the warm space Changkyun has left on the bed. 

"So you have a dictionary programmed into your head then?" Changkyun asks as he picks up the chopsticks. 

"Somewhat," Shownu replies. "It's more like I have access to the internet and hence the dictionaries." 

"Oh wow, so you're basically a walking modern day encyclopedia." 

"Yes but I don't know everything all at once, it's more like how you would need to know what to ask before you consult Google. I also need to ask a question and search the web too." 

"Hmmmm mmmm," Changkyun nods as he slurps up the noodles. "Guess you're not too different from us after all." 

Shownu barely registers Changkyun's words as he feels the warmth, that Changkyun had left in the sheets, spread into his body. He thinks he wouldn't mind feeling such a similar warmth again. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun and Shownu bond a little more over Shownu's questionable fashion tastes.

Changkyun has the signed contract in his left hand when he walks into the puppy therapy room. He spots Kihyun talking to another student and heads over to him. He stops behind the student and looks down at the papers again while he waits for the other's conversation to finish. 

"Hello Changkyun, I see you've come to give me the contract," Kihyun says and startles Changkyun into looking up at him. 

"Hi yeah…" Changkyun replies while he shifts his focus back down to the papers. Unsure of what to say and a little nervous speaking to the stranger, he quickly thrusts the contract into Kihyun's chest. "Umm here," Changkyun says he glances back at Kihyun above the rim of his glasses that have slipped down his nose. 

"...thanks," Kihyun replies a little shocked at Changkyun's sudden movement. His lips slowly curving into a small smile at the other's awkwardness. A little endearing and almost making him want to protect the smaller boy himself. He chuckles a little as he muses if this is why Shownu is so insistent on staying by his side. 

Changkyun shuffles a little on his feet at Kihyun's Chuckle, his nerves rising a little at the other's otherwise silence. "I also just wanted to thank you for the credit card and charging port. So I'll just be heading off now!" Changkyun says with a polite smile as he turns to leave. 

Kihyun snaps out of his reverie at Changkyun's words and steps forward to stop Changkyun. " Wait!" He calls out to the other as his face turns serious. However much he thinks the other boy is adorable, he also worries if such a weak-dispositioned person can take care of Shownu. Even if Shownu was designed to do the "taking care of" Kihyun still prioritises his well being. After all to Kihyun, Shownu is like his own child, one he made with such care and love. "You best take care of him well," Kihyun says sternly.

Changkyun having paused mid turn, now straightens back to look Kihyun steadily in the eye. "I will," he replies, voice unwavering. He knows it hasn't been long but without a doubt he wants to keep Shownu by his side. Whether the android is with him because of a programmed compulsion or because he really wants to, Changkyun knows one absolute truth. That he feels safe with him. And for now that is enough. 

He gives a quick nod to the other and turns around to leave once again. Kihyun's eyes widening at the change in the other's demeanor but feeling reassured at once. He smiled at Changkyun's retreating figure as he said: "Good… he's more human than you know." 

:):

  
Coloured lights reflect off of Changkyun's glasses as he taps away at a game on his phone. His right hand holds his scarf against him, to fend off the cold as the sun completes its fall. The saturated colours seeping away into muted tones and with it Changkyun's grip on the world. 

He puffs out a sigh as he tilts his head back and squeezes his eyes shut. Taking in a deep breath he returns to his game, trying to distract himself from his darkening thoughts. 

"Changkyun!" A voice calls and Changkyun is pulled from his own world into Shownu's. The android walks towards Changkyun and stops in front of him, bringing a hand out to lightly squeeze on the other's bicep. "Are y-" 

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Changkyun interrupts as he pulls out of Shownu's hold and pockets his phone. "Come on, let's head inside." 

They walk in a bubble of silence, as they pass others in the busy shopping centre. Changkyun is the first to break the quiet while keeping his eyes trained on the floor. "I'm sorry I cut you off before, that was rude of me." 

"It's okay, I could just sense you were a little upset." Shownu replies as he turns his head to look at Changkyun. 

Changkyun glances up at Shownu, making eye contact, before looking back down. It hadn't escaped him, how Shownu's face remained blank, when asking him if was okay earlier. Perhaps he was asking too much from the Android, but he wasn't in the mood for his empty words. 

"You don't always need to ask if I'm okay you know" Changkyun replies as he looks back to hold Shownu's gaze. "Sometimes there's no solution even if I admit that I'm not okay, because even I don't really know why I'm upset at times. Sometimes it's just enough for you to be next to me. Okay?" 

They've stopped outside one of the numerous clothing stores and Shownu has the faintest crinkle between his brows. Changkyun has noted this before, that the small changes in the other’s expression only appear when he has to question his programmed truths. To doubt himself. It’s a curiously human action. 

“Okay…” Shownu replies hesitantly. 

That’s enough for Changkyun though as he throws the other a quick smile and then pulls him into the shop by his arm. “Come on then, let’s get you some clothes,” Changkyun says as he tries to lighten the mood. 

Changkyun starts off letting Shownu pick all of his own clothes but laughs as he realises they’ve accumulated a bunch of white t-shirts and beige khaki shorts. His cheeks bunch up so much that they lift his glasses up a fraction and his eyes close in mirth. He therefore doesn’t notice Shownu frozen and staring at him. “I think you’ve taken my definition of liking something too far,” Changkyun comments as his face relaxes back into a soft smile and he opens his eyes again to look at Shownu. “You can wear the outfit again after washing it if you like it so much, you don’t need to buy seven sets!” 

Shownu is brought out of his trance at that and finds he wishes to see and hear Changkyun laughing like that again, beyond it meaning the fulfilment of his programmed objectives. He gives a slow nod at Changkyun’s words instead as he slowly returns some of the items back to their respective hangers.

“Just keep two sets that you like best and then we can look for other clothes too. In any case it’s winter and you’d freeze to death if you only walked around in these,” Changkyun says as he follows after Showu. 

“I’m not affected by changes in temperature like humans are. I would survive fine wearing nothing at all.” Shownu replies with his back to Changkyun as he goes about his task. 

Changkyun catches himself being reminded again that Shownu isn’t human, but he quickly lets go of the thought as he realises he’s going to be with the other too long to keep thinking on their differences. _ It’s best to just go with the flow and accept things as they come _. Changkyun nods a little to himself, and besides, he’s now a little preoccupied with the image of Shownu walking around stark naked with a straight face. He allows himself to indulge in a silent giggle before he chastises himself and banishes the image. 

He realises that he hasn’t answered Shownu for a while and quickly remedies that. “Ah, of course but then people would get rather suspicious of you and I don’t think either of us want Kihyun telling us off.” 

“Mmm,” Shownu nods his head in assent as he remembers past times, during test runs when he was conscious to witness Kihyun scolding his staff. And though he knows his current emotional capacity wouldn’t make him feel any more negatively for it, he still finds himself rather wanting to avoid the experience. 

:):

Changkyun eventually finds himself seated on a cushioned bench opposite a curtained changing room, a pile of clothes on either side of him to return or to keep. Shownu is trying on the next set of clothes they’ve picked out so Changkyun busies himself with sweeping out mines on his phone. He huffs out a sigh when he hits a mine and then repeats the whole process again. At some point his mind begins to drift off to his earlier encounter with Kihyun, or rather what he saw as he was leaving. There was a couple in the corner that he had missed when he came in, the man had his arms around a woman he recognised in his year. However, what really caught his attention was the man. As he pulled away from his partner Changkyun recognised his face as well as the text printed onto the left breast of his shirt: ‘SHOWNU Ver 0.5’. If he hadn’t seen Shownu in his room before he left, he would’ve thought that the android in front of him was none other than the one that’s been with him these past few days. He had left the room quickly, feeling a small twinge in his chest at seeing that same face and those same arms around another person. 

Placing his phone back into his pocket with the game forgotten, Changkyun admonishes himself for reacting the way he did. It’s not like it was the same person and even if they were it’s not like him and Shownu were anything to cause such a reaction. Instead he leans back against the wall the bench is pressed up against and looks up at the yellow curtains ahead and tries to still his overthinking. 

At that moment the curtain draws to the side and Shownu walks out in yet another white t-shirt, but this time it’s partially covered by a black fur-lined leather jacket and tucked into form-fitting blue jeans. He gives a now well practiced turn and looks back at Changkyun for approval. 

“Do you like it?” Changkyun asks.

‘Yes … I think I do,” Shownu replies with a slow nod while looking back down at himself. 

“Nice,” Changkyun grins up at Shownu. “I like it too,” He gives a thumbs up and places the next set of potential clothes into Shownu’s arm. As Shownu turns back into the changing space, Changkyun's gaze linger on the other's figure before he mentally sleeps himself and relaxes back against the wall.

The curtains are drawn again and there's a frayed patch on the curtain directly in his line of sight that Changkyun concentrates his gaze upon. His thoughts wander back to the other android he saw. “Shownu…” Changkyun mutters to himself. 

“Hmmm?” Shownu replies, thinking that Changkyun is calling him from the other side of the curtain. 

Shownu’s voice breaks Changkyun’s trail of thought as he comes back to himself, and his eyes dart to different areas of the curtain as if that would help him see the android beyond, before settling back to the frayed patch. “Who gave you your name Shownu?” Changkyun decides to ask since he has the other’s attention now. 

“Mmm it’s the name of my model type, so I assume someone in the marketing team decided on it. Though President Kim may have influenced it.” 

Changkyun assumes that must be the man Jooheon mentioned as the tycoon. “Have you never wanted to be called something else then, if it’s just a model name?”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” A pause follows before Shownu continues. “I suppose it would help create the sense of identity that people seem to search so hard for. Something to set me apart from the others.” 

_ The other androids he means... _ “Then would you like to choose a name for yourself?”

There a pause before Shownu replies. "Yes I think I’d like that, though I think I need some help choosing one please,” 

Changkyun chews on his bottom lip as he looks down at his fidgeting fingers. He’d gotten ahead of himself a bit and had actually already thought up a few options though he had a favourite. 

“How about Hyunwoo then? Hyun meaning good and Woo for protection... I think it rather suits you.” Changkyun’s mouth curves softly as he glances back up, right back into Shownu’s eyes. 

“I like it alot Changkyun," Shownu says with his head poking out of the changing cubicle, the curtains tucked under his chin, and the tiniest of smiles gracing his lips. "Hyunwoo… I am Hyunwoo." 

"Yes.. yes you are," Changkyun murmurs back. He would be grinning back at the other, except he's been stunned into immobility by Hyunwoo's small smile. A small warmth spreads throughout his entire being. Almost as if he has received one of Hyunwoo's comforting hugs without being touched at all. He has only seen Hyunwoo's expressions of confusion and is glad that he can make the other feel something lighter. Happier. 

"Hyunwoo?" Changkyun calls out. 

"Yes Changkyun?" Shownu replies from the behind the curtains he's returned to. 

"You know, even if you didn't have a different name, you'd still be uniquely you. You may have had the same base programming as the other Shownus, but your memories and all your experiences are different from them now. You are your own person." 

Changkyun isn't sure to what extent Hyunwoo can act beyond the instructions he's been programmed. However he's sure that his questioning and the slivers of emotions that escape him, must make him at least somewhat a person. 

A pause meets him for a while before Hyunwoo answers. "Thank you Changkyun." 

Behind the curtains, Hyunwoo still holds his small smile, unaware of it on his face but feeling his own warmth inside of him. And if anyone looked into his eyes at that very moment, they would see the sparkles hidden within them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super late but Happy New Year everyone!  
Shownu will be Hyunwoo from now on except by characters who don't know the change yet. I also found it hard finding out the definition of the name so I apologies if it's wrong but the one I found fits so lets roll with it!  
As always thank you for reading and hope you're all enjoying it :)


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